I Got Pills

               

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I GOT PILLS

A Cautionary Comedy by happystoner5420 Games

Genre & Setting

A dark comedy simulation game where you run a morally questionable pharmacy dispensing prescription painkillers to desperate patients. Set in a world of shady doctors, DEA raids, rival pharmacies, and customers with suspiciously similar "back pain."

Core Gameplay Loop

1. Stock Your Inventory

Buy wholesale pills from suppliers (Rexall Wholesale or The Import Connection)

9 drugs ranging from weak Codeine to lethal Fentanyl

Build supplier loyalty for discounts up to 15%

Or manufacture pills yourself using the Pill Press (cheaper but riskier quality)

2. Fill Prescriptions

Review incoming patients with their doctor's prescriptions

Decide: which drug to actually give them, dosage (1-12 pills/day), supply length (3-30 days), and markup (60-160% of street price)

Balance profit vs. risk: underdose = bad reviews, overdose = ER visits/deaths

Each bottle shows a very official-looking label (that may or may not match what was prescribed)

3. Manage Consequences

Patients return with feedback ranging from euphoric praise to... not returning at all

Track outcomes: Hospital (1 week gone), Rehab (3 weeks), Jail (2 weeks), Death (permanent)

Balance Reputation (more patients, better pay) vs Heat (DEA attention)

4. Expand Your Empire

Staff: Hire Nurse Nancy (fewer deaths), Bouncer Bruno (fewer robberies), Officer Friendly (less heat), Agent Sterling (raid warnings)

Rival Pharmacies: Fight Big Pharma Benny and The Candy Store through price wars, bribes, or sabotage

Second Location: Open The Riverview Annex to split your inventory (DEA only raids one at a time)

Front Business: Launder dirty money through a smoothie stand or car wash

Loan Sharks: Borrow fast money at 8% weekly interest (miss 3 payments = repo men)

Characters

20 Recurring Patients (real photos included):

Dwayne "Snooze" Carter (Forklift Certifier)

Kevin "Nodzilla" Park (Gamer/Streamer)

Tammy "Twin Pill" Webb (Hairdresser)

Vanessa "Vape Queen" Yu (Mega Influencer)

Plus 16 more with unique personalities, tolerance levels, budgets, and increasingly desperate catchphrases

Shady Doctors: Dr. Leonard Feelgood, Dr. Regina Quaalude, Dr. Hank Payne, and others who write suspiciously generous prescriptions

Key Systems

Heat & The DEA

Heat rises with overdoses, deaths, and shady deals

At 100 heat: DEA raid (flush inventory, hide the stash, or talk your way out)

Random audits: pay fines, claim paperwork was shredded, or forge records

Undercover cops may pose as patients (spot the nervous tells or serve them for +45 heat)

Patient Dynamics

Tolerance builds over time (regulars need stronger doses)

Rehab/jail reset tolerance; ER survivors return scared

Loyalty punch cards (5 visits = discount expectations)

Some are "shady" (jail-prone), some have bad "luck" (death-prone)

The Toll Permanent record of every patient who died, got hospitalized, rehabbed, or jailed because of you

The Daily Prescription In-game newspaper covering weekly events: deaths, raids, rivalries, shortages, with darkly comic headlines like:

"MORGUE REPORTS RECORD REFERRALS FROM 'BACK PAIN CLINIC'"

"LOCAL RACCOONS RATE PHARMACY DUMPSTER '5 STARS'"

Achievements (18 total)

THE REAPER: 5 permanent customers

HEATWAVE: Reach 90+ heat and survive

CLEAN HANDS: No deaths in first 8 weeks

SPOT THE PLANT: Turn away an undercover cop

Plus achievements for pressing pills, sabotaging rivals, surviving raids, and more

Technical Details

100% offline browser game (HTML/CSS/JavaScript)

No external dependencies or server needed

Real photo portraits for all 20 customers, staff, rivals, and ending screens

Procedurally generated pill graphics, prescription bottles, and money art

LocalStorage save system with auto-save every week

Synthesized sound effects (WebAudio API)

Tone & Writing

Pitch-black comedy with no moral guardrails. Every system is designed to make you laugh while doing terrible things:

Pills labeled "for back pain" (narrator: they were not for back pain)

Customer feedback: "I saw colors that don't exist. I filed a complaint with the paint store."

Deaths treated with casual absurdity: "Achieved ultimate pain relief. Refills not needed."

Game Over Conditions

DEA busts you (100 heat)

All 20 patients die (you ran out of customers)

Shows your final stats, achievements, and a mugshot/death photo

Bottom Line: A morbidly funny business sim about the opioid crisis disguised as a pill-dealing tycoon game, with surprisingly deep systems for reputation management, supply chains, rival warfare, and not accidentally killing your entire customer base. Plays like Papers, Please meets Drug Wars with the humor of The Stanley Parable.