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SELL WEED ONLINE

A Dark Comedy Cannabis Business Simulation

By happystoner5420 Games

GAME OVERVIEW

Sell Weed Online is a web-based, text-driven business simulation game where you play as an underground cannabis dealer building an online dispensary empire. It's a dark comedy sandbox that combines realistic market dynamics, AI-powered NPC conversations, strategic inventory management, and advertising campaigns—all wrapped in a sleek, modern web interface.

CORE GAMEPLAY LOOP

1. Order from Dealers

You start with minimal cash and must order cannabis in bulk from one of 4 wholesale dealers via a phone-based text messaging system:

Big Mike (dealer1) - Old school OG, strict but reliable

Loco (dealer2) - Unpredictable and chaotic, but cheap

The Professor (dealer3) - Precise, efficient, premium quality

Shadow (dealer4) - Mysterious and minimal, exclusive strains

Each dealer has unique personality, pricing, available strains, and conversational style. You text them naturally (e.g., "hook me up with an ounce of OG Kush") and they respond with personality-matched dialogue. The game's AI dialog system understands slang, quantities, and strain names.

Minimum order: 14 grams (half ounce)

Available quantities: 14g, 28g (ounce), 56g, 112g (QP), 224g, 448g (pound)

2. Stock Your Online Store

Once shipments arrive (typically 1-3 days), your inventory is updated. You set your own prices per gram for each of 8 photo-realistic cannabis strains:

OG Kush - Classic indica-dominant hybrid

Purple Haze - Legendary sativa with purple hues

Blue Dream - Popular hybrid with blue-green tones

Sour Diesel - Energizing sativa

White Widow - Balanced hybrid

Girl Scout Cookies - Potent hybrid

Pineapple Express - Tropical sativa

AK-47 - Hard-hitting hybrid

Each strain has photo-realistic SVG illustrations with layered details (trichomes, pistils, calyxes, leaves).

3. Run Ad Campaigns

Launch advertising campaigns to attract customers:

Social Media Posts ($50) - Instagram-style sponsored posts

Google Ads ($150) - Search result placement

Email Blasts ($75) - Inbox marketing

SMS Marketing ($100) - Direct text messages

Word of Mouth (FREE) - Organic referrals

Influencer Partnerships ($300) - Paid collaborations

Each ad type has:

Photo-realistic mockups (Instagram posts, Google search results, email templates, SMS conversations)

Reach estimates, conversion rates, duration

Budget multipliers (1x-5x)

Reputation unlock requirements

4. Serve 40 Unique Customers

Customers text you through the phone interface. Each of 40 NPCs has:

Distinct personalities: chill_stoner, hood_street, college_kid, business_type, paranoid, hype_man, og_veteran, karen_type, surfer_bro, skater, mysterious

Preferred strains they want to buy

Character avatars (male1-20.jpg, female1-20.jpg, dealer1-4.jpg)

Memory systems - they remember past purchases, quality, prices

Relationship mechanics - they refer friends, give feedback, request restocks

The dialog system features:

300+ slang terms for products, quantities, greetings, affirmations

Multi-turn conversations with natural texting rhythms

Dynamic reactions based on quality, price, and relationship history

Referral chains - satisfied customers introduce new buyers

5. Manage Risk & Heat

Every transaction adds "heat" (police attention):

Heat builds with sales and ads

Heat decays each day you advance time

Heat > 100 = GAME OVER (busted)

Heat levels: COLD → WARM → HOT → BURNING → BLAZING → INFERNO

CRITICAL RULE: Never mention police-related words ("cops," "police," "DEA," "narc," etc.) in conversations—NPCs will permanently block you.

6. Build Reputation & Unlock Content

Gain reputation through sales and positive customer experiences

Unlock new customers (40 total) and dealers (4 total) as your rep grows

Higher rep = access to premium strains and exclusive customers

Track total revenue, orders, profit margins

7. Advance Days

Hit "NEXT DAY" to progress time:

Pending shipments arrive with 3D unboxing animations

Heat decays naturally

Active ad campaigns tick down

New customers reach out

Save/load game progress via localStorage

GAME FEATURES

Visual Design

Neon-green cyberpunk aesthetic with dark backgrounds (#060e04)

8 photo-realistic strain SVGs with trichome crystals, pistil hairs, layered shadows

100% inline SVG graphics - no external image dependencies

Responsive UI with modern card-based layouts

Phone interface mockup resembling iOS/Android messaging apps

Audio System

Procedural Web Audio API sounds (100% synthesized, no files)

Subtle UI feedback: clicks, cash register, message notifications, errors

Minimalist design—never intrusive

Dialog Engine (dialog.js)

300+ slang terms organized by category

Template-based responses with personality variants

Dynamic text filling - strain names, quantities, prices inserted naturally

Threat detection - escalating responses to hostile language

Police word blacklist - instant permanent blocking

Post-purchase feedback loops - customers text reactions after buying

Referral system - organic network growth

NPC System

40 customers + 4 dealers with unique personalities

Unlock conditions - start unlocked, rep-gated, referral-only

Relationship memory - tracks orders, spending, experiences

Personality-matched dialogue - each NPC talks in character

Progressive relationship building - dealers give discounts/access as you prove yourself

Inventory & Pricing

Real-time stock tracking per strain

Player-set pricing with base price guidelines ($11-16/gram)

Total value calculations displayed in store

Out-of-stock indicators with visual cues

Pending shipment tracker

Advertising Dashboard

6 campaign types with visual mockups

Performance charts - 14-day revenue sparklines

Active campaign progress bars

Budget multiplier sliders (1x-5x spend = 1x-5x reach)

Real-time ROI estimates - customers acquired vs. spend

Reputation-gated access to premium ads

Financial Tracking

Daily profit/loss logs

Total revenue/cost breakdowns

Per-strain performance analytics

Cash flow visualization

Difficulty Modes

CASUAL - $1000 start, 0.7x heat multiplier, 0.6x police

HUSTLER (default) - $500 start, 1.0x heat, 1.0x police

KINGPIN - $250 start, 1.4x heat, 1.5x police

TECHNICAL SPECS

Platform: Web-based (HTML5/CSS3/JavaScript)

No dependencies - Pure vanilla JS, no frameworks

Offline-capable - No server required

LocalStorage persistence - Save/load game states

Procedural audio - Web Audio API synthesis

Modular architecture:

main.js - Game loop, state management, UI orchestration

dialog.js - Conversation engine (5000+ lines)

graphics.js - SVG asset generation

audio.js - Sound synthesis

ads.js - Ad campaign system

index.html - Structure and screens

styles.css (not shown, but referenced)

GAME PHILOSOPHY

Sell Weed Online is a satirical commentary on:

Illegal entrepreneurship - Risk vs. reward dynamics

Online marketing - Ad platform aesthetics and ethics

Drug war absurdity - Game over if you say "police," not if you sell drugs

Relationship-driven commerce - Trust and reputation as currency

Dark humor - Self-aware, tongue-in-cheek tone throughout

Legal disclaimer in-game: "This is a game. Please do not actually sell weed online." — The Lawyers

UNIQUE SELLING POINTS

300+ slang terms - Most comprehensive cannabis slang database in a game

40 hand-crafted NPCs - Each with personality, memory, relationships

Photo-realistic strain art - SVGs with 60+ trichome crystals per bud

Natural language ordering - No menus, just type like you're texting

Real ad mockups - Instagram, Google, Email, SMS with design accuracy

100% offline - No servers, no accounts, no tracking

Dark comedy writing - Self-aware, witty, culturally savvy

Zero external assets - Entire game in 5 files + images

GAMEPLAY TIPS

Never mention police - Instant permanent ban from that contact

Build relationships - Repeat customers spend more and refer friends

Balance ads vs. heat - More visibility = more risk

Diversify strains - Different customers prefer different products

Watch your cash flow - Don't over-order and run out of selling budget

Unlock all 40 customers - Some are hidden behind reputation gates

Master dealer relationships - Each has different strengths

TARGET AUDIENCE

Cannabis culture enthusiasts

Business simulation fans (Drug Dealer Simulator, Weed Tycoon)

Text-based game lovers

Dark comedy appreciators

Indie game explorers

TONE & STYLE

Tone: Dark comedy, satirical, self-aware

Style: Minimalist cyberpunk with neon-green accents

Writing: Slang-heavy, culturally authentic, witty

Music: None (intentional silence)

Sound: Minimal procedural bleeps and bloops

This is a fully-featured business sim disguised as a text-based drug dealing game, with surprising depth in its NPC relationships, advertising systems, and risk management. It's basically "Drug Wars" meets "Papers, Please" meets "Instagram" with 300+ slang terms and photo-realistic weed illustrations.

Est. Credits Used: 1.13

Elapsed time: 1m 13s

Checkpoint

Restore

give me a full game decription of my game in this app with all the new features and drugs ect

Kiro

I need to read more files to see what additional features, drugs, and content you've added beyond what I initially reviewed.

Searched workspace

Searching for references to additional drugs beyond cannabis to see what other substances are in the game

Looking for the NPC definitions file that was referenced in dialog.js

Searching for strain definitions to see all available cannabis strains

Excellent! I can see you've expanded the game significantly. Let me read the npc.js file to get the complete picture:

Read file(s)

npc.js

Perfect! Now I have the complete picture. Let me create a comprehensive updated game description with all the new features:

SELL WEED ONLINE (EXPANDED EDITION)

A Dark Comedy Multi-Drug Empire Simulation

By happystoner5420 Games

🔥 GAME OVERVIEW

Sell Weed Online is a deeply ambitious web-based business simulation where you build an underground drug empire from scratch. Starting with $250-$1000 (depending on difficulty), you'll navigate a world of 40 unique customers, 4 wholesale dealers, sophisticated AI-driven conversations, and the constant threat of getting busted. It's Grand Theft Auto meets Papers Please meets Instagram, wrapped in neon-green cyberpunk aesthetics with zero external dependencies.

This isn't just a weed game anymore. You're now dealing with 8 cannabis strains, pharmaceutical pills, and cocaine—each with their own markets, risks, and profit margins.

🌿 FULL PRODUCT CATALOG

CANNABIS STRAINS (8 Total)

Each strain features photo-realistic SVG artwork with 60+ hand-placed trichome crystals:

OG Kush (Hybrid, 22% THC) - Classic dense nugs, earthy and piney

Purple Haze (Sativa, 20% THC) - Psychedelic purple-green buds, Hendrix-approved

Blue Dream (Hybrid, 21% THC) - Blueberry + Haze, dreamy and popular

Sour Diesel (Sativa, 26% THC) - Gassy, pungent, freight train high

White Widow (Hybrid, 25% THC) - Frosted with trichomes, legendary strain

Girl Scout Cookies (Hybrid, 28% THC) - Highest THC, always runs out first

Pineapple Express (Sativa, 18% THC) - Thanks Seth Rogen for the marketing

AK-47 (Hybrid, 20% THC) - One-hit wonder, proceed with caution

💊 PILLS & POWDER (2 High-Risk Products)

Xanax Bars (Benzos, 2mg)

Street name: White ladders, bars, zannies

Base retail price: $30/bar

Dealer wholesale: $14-30/bar

High heat, extremely addictive customer base

Description: "The 'I need to calm down' special. Handle with care."

Cocaine (Powder, Uncut)

Street names: Coke, blow, snow, white girl, yayo, nose candy

Base retail price: $80/gram

Dealer wholesale: $40-80/gram

Highest heat multiplier in the game

Attracts business-type and street customers

Description: "White girl. Straight off the brick. Your customers will love you and hate you."

👥 40 HAND-CRAFTED CUSTOMERS

Each NPC has:

Unique personality from 10 archetypes

Preferred product preferences (some want weed, others want pills/powder)

Budget ranges ($70-$1600)

Typical order sizes (3.5g-28g for cannabis)

Referral mechanics (satisfied customers introduce friends)

Memory systems (remember quality, prices, past experiences)

Unlock conditions (start, reputation gates, referral chains)

10 PERSONALITY ARCHETYPES

chill_stoner - Laid back, philosophical, slow to reply

hood_street - No-nonsense, direct, street vernacular

college_kid - Stressed, typo-prone, uses "literally" constantly

business_type - Professional, treats it like a transaction, has spreadsheets

paranoid - Asks if line is secure every single time

hype_man - ALL CAPS ENERGY, 🔥🔥🔥 on everything

og_veteran - Commands respect, been in the game 15+ years

karen_type - "Per my last text," expects manager-level service

surfer_bro - "Duuude," "stoked," "gnarly," 🤙 emoji exclusive

skater - "Lowkey," "no cap," broken bones are aesthetic

CUSTOMER HIGHLIGHTS

Male Customers (20):

Marcus (hood_street) - Prefers Sour Diesel, AK-47, cocaine

DeShawn (hype_man) - Prefers GSC, Sour Diesel, cocaine

Carlos (business_type) - Prefers OG Kush, White Widow, cocaine

Brandon (paranoid) - Prefers Blue Dream, OG Kush, Xanax

Darius (og_veteran) - 28g orders, $1200 budget, wants OG Kush + cocaine

Female Customers (20):

Emma (college_kid) - "omg literally NEED blue dream before this study session 😭"

Jasmine (chill_stoner) - Has cats named after strains

Tiffany (karen_type) - "I just have a few questions before I commit"

Aaliyah (hood_street) - "real talk sis just tell me the price"

Gabrielle (business_type) - $1600 budget, luxury client, wants cocaine

Notable Customer Facts:

Trevor - Writing 40-page thesis on weed in hip-hop while smoking weed

Monique (OG veteran) - Been cultivating for 15 years, only buys as a treat

Roxanne (Karen) - "Would like to speak to the manager of the entire drug trade"

Priya - Double-majoring Pre-Law + CS, "the weed is load-bearing"

Damien - Corporate, smokes in car during lunch, hidden it for 9 years

🔌 4 WHOLESALE DEALERS

All 4 dealers carry all 10 products (8 strains + Xanax + cocaine). Prices vary wildly:

1. BIG MIKE (dealer1) - Auto-Unlocked

Territory: Westside

Personality: OG Veteran (38 years old)

Pricing: Mid-tier street prices

Cannabis: $4.50-8/g wholesale

Xanax: $18/bar

Cocaine: $50/g

Delivery: 2 days

Style: "Don't play games with me, youngblood."

Reliability: 100% - The trustworthy OG

2. LOCO (dealer2) - Unlocks at 25 Rep

Territory: Eastside Projects

Personality: Hood Street (26 years old)

Pricing: CHEAPEST IN THE GAME

Cannabis: $4-6/g wholesale

Xanax: $14/bar (best margins)

Cocaine: $40/g (best margins)

Delivery: 1 day (fastest)

Style: "Bro you lucky I even answered."

Risk: Unreliable, chaotic, but those prices tho 👀

3. THE PROFESSOR (dealer3) - Unlocks at 50 Rep

Territory: Uptown

Personality: Business Type (44 years old)

Pricing: Premium tier

Cannabis: $8-13/g wholesale

Xanax: $24/bar

Cocaine: $65/g

Delivery: 3 days

Style: "My time is valuable. Let's make this efficient."

Benefit: Top-shelf quality, sophisticated operation

4. SHADOW (dealer4) - Unlocks at 75 Rep

Territory: Unknown

Personality: Mysterious (33 years old, female)

Pricing: LUXURY TIER

Cannabis: $10-16/g wholesale

Xanax: $30/bar

Cocaine: $80/g

Delivery: Variable (she responds when she wants)

Style: Minimalist, cryptic messages

Mystery: Nobody knows much about Shadow

💰 PRICING & PROFIT MARGINS

Suggested Retail Prices (Base)

Cannabis: $11-16/gram (2-3x markup potential)

Xanax: $30/bar (2-3x markup from Loco's $14)

Cocaine: $80/gram (2x markup from Loco's $40)

Example Profit Scenarios

Low-Risk Cannabis Play:

Buy OG Kush from Loco: $4.50/g × 28g = $126

Sell at $12/g = $336 revenue

Profit: $210 | Heat: +3-5

High-Risk Cocaine Play:

Buy cocaine from Loco: $40/g × 28g = $1,120

Sell at $80/g = $2,240 revenue

Profit: $1,120 | Heat: +25-40 💀

Double the profit, quintuple the risk

Xanax Bar Strategy:

Buy bars from Loco: $14/bar × 28 bars = $392

Sell at $30/bar = $840 revenue

Profit: $448 | Heat: +15-20

Popular with college_kid and paranoid personalities

🚨 HEAT SYSTEM (EXPANDED)

Every product adds heat differently:

Cannabis: +1-3 heat per transaction (base)

Xanax: +3-6 heat per transaction (controlled substance)

Cocaine: +8-15 heat per transaction (DANGER ZONE)

Advertising: +1-5 heat per campaign

Large orders: Heat multiplied by quantity

Difficulty multiplier: KINGPIN mode = 1.4x all heat

Heat Levels:

0-20: COLD (green) - You're invisible

20-40: WARM (yellow-green) - Radar blip

40-60: HOT (orange) - Attention incoming

60-80: BURNING (red-orange) - They're watching

80-100: BLAZING (red) - One mistake away

100+: INFERNO - GAME OVER (BUSTED)

Heat Decay: -5 to -10 per day advanced

📱 NATURAL LANGUAGE TEXTING SYSTEM

The conversation engine recognizes 300+ slang terms across all products:

Cannabis Slang

Product terms: bud, tree, green, herb, Mary Jane, ganja, chronic, dank, fire, loud, gas, pack, broccoli, lettuce, devil's lettuce

Strains recognized by: Full name, abbreviations, nicknames

Xanax Slang (NEW)

xan, xans, bars, bar, benzo, ladder, white bar, xanny, zanny, z-bar

Cocaine Slang (NEW)

coke, blow, snow, white girl, yayo, nose candy, powder, soft, charlie, booger sugar, toot, white lady

Quantities Recognized

Gram/g, eighth (3.5g), quarter (7g), half/half O (14g), ounce/zip (28g), QP (112g), half pound (224g), pound (448g)

Example Orders:

"yo can I get a half of that white widow" → 14g OG Kush order

"lemme get 10 bars for the weekend" → 10 Xanax order

"need an eighth of that girl scout and maybe 2g of the white girl if you got it" → 3.5g GSC + 2g cocaine combo order

🎯 CORE GAMEPLAY LOOP

1. ORDER FROM DEALERS

Text dealers naturally via phone interface

They respond with personality-matched dialogue

Negotiate prices (relationship affects discounts)

Wait 1-3 days for shipments

3D unboxing animations when packages arrive

2. SET YOUR PRICES

Online store interface with product cards

Adjust per-gram/per-bar pricing

Balance profit margins vs. customer budgets

Track total inventory value in real-time

3. RUN AD CAMPAIGNS

6 campaign types with photo-realistic mockups:

Social Media Posts ($50) - Instagram-style sponsored content

Google Search Ads ($150) - Search result placements

Email Blasts ($75) - Marketing inbox spam

SMS Marketing ($100) - Direct text messages

Word of Mouth (FREE) - Organic referrals

Influencer Collabs ($300) - Paid partnerships

Budget multipliers (1x-5x spend = 1x-5x reach)

Adds heat but unlocks new customers

4. SERVE CUSTOMERS

Customers text you with orders

Offer products you have in stock

Quick-reply chips for fast service

Multi-message conversations feel like real texting

Memory system - they remember quality, prices, experiences

5. MANAGE RISK

Never mention police/cops/DEA = instant permanent block

Balance profit vs. heat accumulation

Cocaine = highest profit AND highest risk

Cannabis = steady income, manageable heat

Xanax = middle ground

6. BUILD REPUTATION

Unlock dealers (25/50/75 rep gates)

Unlock customers (referral chains)

Earn discounts from dealers at high relationship levels

40 customers + 4 dealers = 44 total unlock able NPCs

7. ADVANCE TIME

Hit "NEXT DAY" to progress

Shipments arrive

Heat decays naturally

Ad campaigns tick down

New customer inquiries come in

Random events trigger (satisfied customer feedback, referrals, restocks)

🎨 NEW FEATURES IN THIS VERSION

🆕 Multi-Drug Economy

10 products vs. original 8 (added Xanax + cocaine)

Risk-reward dynamics - cocaine = 2x profit, 5x risk

Different customer preferences - some want pills, others want powder

Realistic street pricing across all product categories

🆕 Enhanced NPC Personalities

44 total characters (40 customers + 4 dealers)

Product-specific dialogue - customers mention cocaine/bars naturally

Memory of product experiences - "that white widow hit different but that blow had me UP"

Combo orders - customers can order multiple products in one text

🆕 Advanced Dialog System

400+ slang terms (100+ new terms for pills/powder)

Context-aware parsing - "bars" = Xanax, "white girl" = cocaine

Multi-product orders - "lemme get a quarter of OG and 5 bars"

Threat escalation for hard drug negotiations

🆕 Expanded Dealer Mechanics

All dealers carry everything - no exclusivity

Price competition - Loco's $40/g coke vs. Shadow's $80/g

Relationship discounts - high rep = better prices

Delivery speed variance - Loco = 1 day, Professor = 3 days

🆕 Heat Escalation

Product-based heat multipliers

Cocaine transactions = 3-5x base heat

Difficulty modifiers affect heat gain

Strategic heat management - balance high-risk/high-reward

🎮 GAMEPLAY MODES

CASUAL ($1000 start)

0.7x heat multiplier

0.6x police attention

Recommended for first playthrough

HUSTLER ($500 start) ⭐ DEFAULT

1.0x heat multiplier

1.0x police attention

Balanced challenge

KINGPIN ($250 start)

1.4x heat multiplier

1.5x police attention

Hardcore mode - cocaine dealing is near-suicidal

📊 FULL FEATURE LIST

Core Systems

✅ 10 products (8 cannabis + 2 hard drugs) ✅ 44 NPCs (40 customers + 4 dealers) ✅ 10 personality archetypes ✅ 300+ slang term recognition ✅ Natural language conversation engine ✅ Memory & relationship system ✅ Heat & risk management ✅ Reputation progression (0-100+) ✅ Referral chain unlocks ✅ Save/load system (localStorage)

UI/UX Features

✅ Phone interface (iOS/Android aesthetic) ✅ Online store dashboard ✅ Inventory management ✅ Price-setting tools ✅ Ad campaign manager (6 types) ✅ Financial analytics dashboard ✅ 14-day revenue sparkline charts ✅ Real-time HUD (cash, day, heat, rep) ✅ Toast notifications ✅ Modal dialogs ✅ 3D unboxing animations

Visual Design

✅ 8 photo-realistic strain SVGs (60+ trichomes each) ✅ Neon-green cyberpunk theme ✅ Dark mode aesthetic (#060e04 backgrounds) ✅ Character avatars (male1-20.jpg, female1-20.jpg, dealer1-4.jpg) ✅ Ad mockups (Instagram, Google, Email, SMS templates) ✅ Animated progress bars ✅ Gradient effects & glows

Audio System

✅ Procedural Web Audio API sounds ✅ UI feedback (clicks, cash register, notifications) ✅ Message send/receive sounds ✅ Error/danger alerts ✅ Level-up chime ✅ 100% synthesized (no audio files)

Technical

✅ 100% vanilla JavaScript (no frameworks) ✅ Offline-capable ✅ Zero external dependencies ✅ Modular architecture (6 core JS files) ✅ LocalStorage persistence ✅ Cross-browser compatible ✅ Mobile-responsive layouts

⚠️ UNIQUE GAME RULES

The Police Word Blacklist

Mention ANY of these words → PERMANENT BLOCK:

police, cops, cop, DEA, FBI, narc, snitch, rat, informant

feds, 5-0, twelve, 12, po-po, law, badges, officers

detective, undercover, wire, raid, bust, arrested, warrant

Note: The word "deal" by itself is fine. Don't be paranoid.

Threat Responses

Dealers escalate: warning → danger → ghost you

Big Mike: Gives one warning, then cuts you off

Loco: Immediate danger response, may threaten

Professor: Ghosts permanently, no second chances

Shadow: Vanishes like smoke

Referral Chains

Some customers only unlock via specific referrals

Example: Jaylen (male9) only unlocks after Marcus (male3) refers him

Referral chance: 10%-50% depending on personality

Hype_man personalities refer the most (45-50%)

Paranoid/Karen types rarely refer (<15%)

🎯 WIN CONDITIONS & GOALS

There is no explicit "win" state—this is a sandbox empire builder. Goals:

Short-term Goals

Survive to Day 30 without getting busted

Unlock all 40 customers

Unlock all 4 dealers

Reach $10,000 total revenue

Maintain heat below 50 for 10 consecutive days

Long-term Goals

Reach 100+ reputation

$50,000+ total revenue

Serve 500+ orders

Unlock Shadow (dealer4) at 75 rep

Balance selling all 3 product categories without getting caught

Challenge Goals

KINGPIN Mode: Survive to Day 20

Cocaine Kingpin: Earn $25,000 from cocaine alone

Pill Mill: Serve 100+ Xanax orders

Clean Business: Never go above WARM heat, still hit $20K revenue

All NPCs: Unlock all 44 characters

🎭 DARK COMEDY & SATIRE

The game satirizes:

Drug war absurdity - You can sell cocaine but saying "police" gets you banned

Online marketing ethics - Instagram ads for illegal drugs

Gig economy hustle - "You're not a drug dealer, you're a small business owner"

Customer service hell - Karen-type customers asking for manager of drug trade

Startup culture - "Circle back on pricing," "What's the ROI on this eighth?"

Influencer economy - Pay someone to vaguely imply they tried your product

Example Dialog Gems

Tyler (chill_stoner):

"bruh... have you ever really thought about clouds though"

Roxanne (Karen):

"Per my last text, I asked for top shelf. This does not appear to be top shelf."

Damien (business_type):

"Price. Quantity. ETA. That's all I need."

Gabrielle (luxury client):

"I'm looking for something consistent and exceptional. Can you deliver on that?"

Big Mike (dealer):

"Don't play games with me, youngblood."

Loco (dealer):

"Bro you lucky I even answered."

📈 SAMPLE GAMEPLAY SESSION

DAY 1:

Start with $500 (HUSTLER mode)

Text Big Mike: "yo I need to re-up, lemme get a half of OG Kush"

Big Mike: "$84 for 14g. Arrives Day 3. You want it?"

Reply: "bet"

Cash: $416 remaining

DAY 2:

Launch Social Media ad ($50) → Unlocks 2 new customers

Emma texts: "omg ok so I literally NEED blue dream rn 😭"

Reply: "I got you when my shipment comes in, Day 3"

Cash: $366

DAY 3:

📦 PACKAGE ARRIVES - 14g OG Kush in inventory

Set price: $12/g (2x markup)

Emma orders 3.5g = $42 revenue (+$42, -3.5g stock)

Marcus orders 7g = $84 revenue (+$84, -7g stock)

Profit so far: $42 | Heat: 6 (COLD)

DAY 5:

Reputation hits 20 → Loco unlocks

Text Loco: "yo what's your coke prices"

Loco: "$40/g youngblood. You tryna move weight or what"

Order 7g cocaine = $280

HIGH RISK PLAY

DAY 7:

Cocaine arrives

Set price: $75/g

Aaliyah (business_type) orders 3g = $225 revenue

Instant +18 heat (now at 30 - WARM)

Profit: $225 - $120 = $105 from 3g

DAY 15:

$2,800 total revenue

34 heat (WARM, manageable)

12 customers unlocked

3 dealers unlocked

Empire growing

🏆 WHY THIS GAME IS SPECIAL

1. Deepest NPC System in Any Drug Game

44 characters with real personalities

Memory systems that remember your prices, quality, experiences

Referral networks that grow organically

Multi-turn conversations that feel human

2. Most Comprehensive Slang Database

300+ terms recognized

Product synonyms, quantity slang, street terminology

Context-aware parsing (knows "bars" = Xanax in context)

3. Risk-Reward Economics

Cannabis = safe, steady income

Xanax = medium risk, good margins

Cocaine = extreme risk, extreme profit

Player choice matters - you can play it safe or go full Scarface

4. Photo-Realistic Art

8 strain SVGs with scientific accuracy

Trichome placement, pistil colors, calyx layering

100% vector graphics = infinite scalability

5. Authentic Marketing Mockups

Instagram posts that look EXACTLY like Instagram

Google search results with sitelinks

Email templates with proper client chrome

SMS conversations with typing indicators

6. Zero External Dependencies

Works offline

No server required

No npm packages

Pure vanilla JavaScript

Procedurally generated audio

Entire game is 5 JS files + HTML + images

🚀 FINAL STATS

CONTENT VOLUME:

10 products (8 strains, 2 hard drugs)

44 NPCs (40 customers, 4 dealers)

300+ slang terms

10 personality archetypes

6 ad campaign types

3 difficulty modes

100+ unlock conditions

8 photo-realistic SVG artworks

6 JavaScript modules (~10,000 lines total)

100% offline-capable

ESTIMATED PLAYTIME:

First playthrough: 3-5 hours to Day 30

Full completion: 10-15 hours (all NPCs, $50K revenue)

Replayability: Infinite (sandbox, emergent NPC interactions)

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER

"This is a game. Please do not actually sell weed online. Or pills. Or cocaine. Seriously. The lawyers made us say this. Also, don't text 'police' to your real dealers."

— happystoner5420 Games

💚 TARGET AUDIENCE

Cannabis culture enthusiasts

Business simulation fans (Drug Wars, Dope Wars, GTA)

Dark comedy appreciators

Text-based RPG lovers

Indie game explorers

Adults 18+ only (obviously)

Sell Weed Online is the most ambitious, comprehensive, and darkly hilarious drug dealing simulator ever made in a browser. It's Drug Wars (1984) for the Instagram generation, with the depth of a Paradox strategy game and the humor of Silicon Valley meets The Wire.

Now with cocaine. 💀🔥

happystoner5420 Games • 2025 • v1.0

"Building empires, one text at a time."