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THE LIFE OF A STONER
A Dark Comedy Dealing Simulator
Genre: Text-based RPG / Life Simulation / Dark Comedy
Rating: 18+ (Satirical adult content)
Platform: Offline browser game (no installation required)
PREMISE
You play as Happy, a street-smart entrepreneur in a beanie trying to make it big by buying weed cheap at the dispensary and flipping it to twitchy customers on the block. Navigate a world of cops, thugs, fast food jobs, and questionable life choices while managing your health, sobriety, and heat from the law.
CORE GAMEPLAY LOOP
🌿 Buy Low, Sell High:
Purchase weed at the Dispensary from Luna the budtender (4 different strains from cheap "Backyard Reggie" to premium "Rocket Diesel OG")
Sell to quirky street buyers like Nervous Dave, Chill Marcus, Cosmic Brenda, and Skater Kyle
Haggle for better prices (but being too high or drunk makes you worse at negotiating)
Every sale increases your Heat meter (wanted level)
💰 Survive & Thrive:
Manage 4 key meters: Health, High, Drunk, and Heat
Buy food, liquor, smoke gear, and guns from various shops
Work shifts at McWeederz fast food restaurant to earn honest money when broke
Upgrade from a run-down apartment to a nicer place for better rest and heat cool-down
KEY FEATURES
👔 CAREER SYSTEM - McWeederz Restaurant
Work shifts taking customer orders to earn wages and tips
Climb the career ladder: Trainee → Fry Cook → Line Lead → Shift Manager → Store Manager
Earn XP through perfect shifts to unlock promotions with better pay
Different shift types (Breakfast Rush, Lunch Madness, Graveyard Shift) with varying rewards
⚔️ COMBAT SYSTEM
Fight street thugs (Big Rico, Slim Vic) who try to rob you
Choose between fists, guns (pistol, shotgun), or smashing bottles
Being drunk gives you damage bonuses but lowers accuracy
Lose fights and get robbed of cash and weed; win fights and loot money
🚔 LAW ENFORCEMENT
Heat builds with every sale; high heat triggers cop encounters
Get busted by Officer Boonehand (regular cops) or Agent Kessler (FBI for serious heat)
Face Judge Harrow in court
Hire Saul "Deals" Grimm, your shady attorney, to reduce jail time
Spend time in jail (lose days and freedom)
🏠 LIFESTYLE MANAGEMENT
Start in a run-down apartment, upgrade to a nice place for $500
Smoke weed at home (effects amplified with bongs and pipes)
Drink liquor, eat food to heal and reduce munchies
Sleep to restore health, reduce high/drunk levels, and cool down heat
🎨 VISUAL & AUDIO
30 AI-generated photo-realistic characters and locations
Cinematic UI with film grain, vignette effects
Trippy visual effects when high or drunk
Procedurally generated lofi chill music
Offline sound FX for actions (no internet needed)
LOCATIONS
The Block (Hub) - Your street corner
Dispensary - Buy weed from Luna
Sell Spot - Deal to customers
McWeederz - Fast food restaurant (work & buy cheap food)
Liquor Store - Buy alcohol from Gus
Smoke Shop - Buy papers, pipes, bongs from Dozer
Gun Store - Buy weapons from Chuck
Your Crib - Rest, consume items, upgrade housing
Hospital - Heal injuries from Dr. Patel (expensive)
Courtroom - Face the judge when busted
Jail - Serve time
CHARACTERS
Happy (You) - The protagonist trying to make it
Steven Woerz - Your best friend and worst influence
Luna - Chill budtender at dispensary
Big Rico & Slim Vic - Street thugs
Officer Boonehand - Local cop
Agent Kessler - FBI agent
Judge Harrow - The stern judge
Saul "Deals" Grimm - Your sketchy lawyer
Dr. Patel - Hospital doctor
Randy - McWeederz manager
UNIQUE MECHANICS
Quality System: Weed has different quality levels affecting street value
No Saves: Every new game is a fresh start - permadeath philosophy
Munchies: Being very high without food damages your health
Intoxication Effects: Screen warping, particle effects, impaired decision-making
Heat Cool-down: Laying low at home reduces wanted level
Day/Night Cycle: Sleep progresses days
TONE & STYLE
A satirical, exaggerated dark comedy that parodies dealing simulators and life sims. Features witty dialogue, absurd situations, and self-aware humor. The game emphasizes this is satire and entertainment - "Don't do crimes. Do snacks."
TECHNICAL
Pure HTML/CSS/JavaScript - runs 100% offline in any modern browser
No installation, no internet, no accounts needed
Responsive design for all devices
Asset size optimized with web fonts and compressed images
Toggle music and sound effects
This is a complete, polished single-player experience focused on risk management, resource optimization, and darkly humorous storytelling. Every playthrough is unique with randomized events, buyer interactions, and combat encounters.