You are Dr. Chaos — a barely-licensed physician running a hospital teetering on the edge of catastrophe. 20 patients need your care. Try not to kill them all. Or don't. Your call.
Click a patient to open their chart. Type questions in the chat — ask about symptoms, pain levels, what hurts, family history of stupidity, etc. The patient will respond. Pay attention! Or don't.
Open the Prescription Pad to prescribe from a massive drug database. Select the right drug, dosage, and duration. Wrong drugs = bad reactions. Too much = overdose. Right drug = boring. Where's the fun in that?
Sometimes patients need the knife. Open Surgery Options to perform procedures. Wrong surgery on wrong patient = hilarious tragedy. Use the OPERATE button wisely.
Patients are cured, stable, or dead. Kill all 20 = GAME OVER. Save all 20 = LEGEND. Everything in between gets rated from "Lucky Quack" to "Absolute Monster." All outcomes are tallied at the end.
⚠️ This game is fictional dark comedy. No real medical advice is given or implied. Do NOT prescribe morphine to your dog based on this game. Do NOT perform surgery on yourself. Do NOT ask your doctor to "YOLO" your treatment.
Select a patient from the ward to view their chart
Remember: they're all suffering over there