Choose your dealer alias wisely. The streets have a long memory.
2–24 characters. No real names, officer.
Standard hustle. Police exist but have better things to do.
A completely legal educational guide. For research purposes only.
Open the Phone tab. Text your dealer. The Dealer Price Guide on the right side of the screen lists every product, price per gram (or per bar), and bulk totals. Use it to plan your order before you type.
Type naturally in the chat. Weed examples: "hook me up with an ounce of OG Kush" • "I need a QP of Sour Diesel". Pills: "lemme get some bars" • "I need xans" • "grab me some zannies". Powder: "I need a gram of coke" • "hook me up with some blow" • "got any snow?". Minimum order is 14g/units.
When a dealer quotes you a price, say "bet", "sounds good", "deal", or "I'll take it" to confirm — OR click the green CONFIRM button that appears. Say "nah", "pass", or "too expensive" to cancel.
Once your shipment arrives, inventory fills up. Head to the Store tab to set your sell prices. Weed is priced per gram. Xanax Bars are priced per bar. Cocaine is priced per gram. Price high for profit — but don't go so high customers walk.
Use the Ads tab to launch campaigns — social media, email blasts, Google ads. More spend = more customers finding you = more sales. But ads add heat, so balance it.
Customers text you on the phone. Some want weed, some want bars, some want powder — check their messages. Use the quick-reply chips to offer what you have in stock. The harder the product, the bigger the payday. Happy customers return and refer friends.
Every deal adds heat. Heat > 100 = game over. Lay low sometimes. Heat decays each day you advance. If a dealer blocks you, you still have 3 others — build rep to unlock them.
Typing "police", "cops", "narc", or "the DEA" in a text gets you permanently blocked by that contact. The word "deal" by itself is totally fine. Don't be paranoid — just don't be a snitch.
Hit NEXT DAY in the hub. Shipments arrive, heat decays, new customers text you, ad campaigns tick down. Time is money, bro.
More rep = new dealers unlock = better product = more customers. You're selling 8 weed strains, Xanax Bars, and Cocaine — 10 products total. 40 customers. 4 dealers. Unlock them all. Start scrappy, end legendary.
A Dark Comedy Sandbox Simulation
happystoner5420 Games!
Game Design · Code · Dark Humor Consultant
40 Hand-crafted NPCs with Real Personalities & Memory
10 Products — 8 Weed Strains, Xanax Bars & Cocaine
4 Dealers with Unique Personalities & Price Tiers
Photo-Real SVG Product Art — No Emojis for UI
Full Dark Humor Dialog System with 1000+ Lines
100% Offline • No Servers • No Tracking • Just Vibes
Procedural Audio via Web Audio API
Multi-Profile Save System via LocalStorage
"This is a game. Please do not actually sell anything online."
— The Lawyers, definitely
v1.1 • 2025 • happystoner5420 Games!