Choose your dealer alias wisely. The streets have a long memory.
2–24 characters. No real names, officer.
Standard hustle. Police exist but have better things to do.
A completely legal educational guide. For research purposes only.
Open the Phone tab. Text your dealer. The Dealer Price Guide on the right side of the screen lists every strain, price per gram, and bulk totals. Use it to plan your order before you type.
Type naturally in the chat. Examples: "hook me up with an ounce of OG Kush" • "I need a QP of Sour Diesel" • "lemme get a half pound of Blue Dream". Order sizes: 14g · 28g · 56g · 112g · 224g · 448g. Minimum order is 14g.
When a dealer quotes you a price, say "bet", "sounds good", "deal", or "I'll take it" to confirm — OR click the green CONFIRM button that appears. Say "nah", "pass", or "too expensive" to cancel.
Once your shipment arrives, inventory fills up. Head to the Store tab and set your prices per gram. The green dot in the Price Guide shows what you have in stock.
Use the Ads tab to launch campaigns — social media, email blasts, Google ads. More spend = more customers finding you = more sales. But ads add heat, so balance it.
Customers text you on the phone. Offer strains you have in stock using the quick-reply chips. Fulfill their orders for cash. Happy customers return and refer friends.
Every deal adds heat. Heat > 100 = game over. Lay low sometimes. Heat decays each day you advance. If a dealer blocks you, you still have 3 others — build rep to unlock them.
Typing "police", "cops", "narc", or "the DEA" in a text gets you permanently blocked by that contact. The word "deal" by itself is totally fine. Don't be paranoid — just don't be a snitch.
Hit NEXT DAY in the hub. Shipments arrive, heat decays, new customers text you, ad campaigns tick down. Time is money, bro.
More rep = new dealers unlock = cheaper/better strains = more customers. There are 40 customers and 4 dealers. Unlock them all. Start scrappy, end legendary.
A Dark Comedy Sandbox Simulation
happystoner5420 Games!
Game Design · Code · Dark Humor Consultant
40 Hand-crafted NPCs with real personalities
8 Photo-real Cannabis Strain SVGs
100% Offline · No Servers · Just Vibes
Procedural Audio via Web Audio API
"This is a game. Please do not actually sell weed online."
— The Lawyers
v1.0 • 2025 • happystoner5420 Games!