The Toll every soul the business has touched, newest first
Activity Log
The Empire staff, rivals, and every other questionable investment
STAFF they work for you. the DEA works for them, allegedly.
THE RIVALS two pharmacies that want what's yours
UPGRADES & COMMUNITY
COMMUNITY GOODWILL 50
High goodwill brings more patients. Bodies lower it. Fix it with donations.
LAW ENFORCEMENT RELATIONS
Officer Friendly is always listening. Grease a palm to cool the heat.
FRONT BUSINESS turn dirty cash into 'smoothie revenue'
LOAN SHARKS borrow at your own risk. the fins are figurative. probably.
ACHIEVEMENTS
Incoming Prescription
Patient: - the doctor says it's for "back pain". The back pain says otherwise.
Fill The Script
1 pill(s)/day1-12
60-160% of street
The label always tells the truth. Ish.
PATIENT LOST
Week Report
DEA PAPERWORK AUDIT
Two agents with clipboards and extremely patient smiles are going through your records.
Your ledgers are... creative. Choose your defense.
THE DEA IS OUTSIDE
Unmarked cars. Flashlights. A battering ram with your name on it. You have seconds.
Choose your escape. Luck favors the prepared. And the flushable.
How To Play
THE JOB
You run a pharmacy with a very loose interpretation of "doctor's orders". Buy pills wholesale from the MARKET, then fill scripts for your patients at a healthy markup. Cash only. No receipts. No questions.
THE SCRIPTS
Patients arrive with prescriptions written by "doctors" you've never met. In the fill screen you decide: which drug, how many days of supply (3-day taster, 1/2/4 week supplies), how many pills per day, and what to charge (60-160% of street price). The label on the bottle is always accurate. The business model is not.
DOSING & DANGER
Compare the dose risk to the patient's tolerance. Under-dose them and they'll badmouth you (Rep -). Over-dose them and... well, the ER, rehab, and the county morgue all send thank-you notes (Heat +). Extra pills "for the weekend" are on you, champ.
REPUTATION & HEAT
Reputation (50-100) brings more patients and better pay. Heat is how interested the police are in your "philanthropy". Hit 100 and the DEA repossesses your inventory. Permanently. Heat fades a little each week. Bodies don't.
FORWARD A WEEK
When the waiting room is empty, fast-forward a week to see how your "treatment plans" worked out. Patients come back with reviews of their last high - or don't come back at all. Rehab takes 3 weeks, jail 2, hospital 1. Death is forever, and so is the paperwork.
STAFF (THE EMPIRE TAB)
Hire the Nurse (fewer deaths and ER trips), the Bouncer (fewer robberies and sting operations), the Cop (less heat, cheaper bribes) and the DEA agent (raid warnings and better escape odds). Everyone costs a weekly wage. Miss a payroll and they quit - and the DEA agent definitely talks.
THE RIVALS
Big Pharma Benny and The Candy Store want your patients. Each week they may poach one of your customers. Fight back with a PRICE WAR (costs heat, blocks them), a BRIBE (buy peace), or SABOTAGE (expensive, effective, 25% illegal-er).
RAIDS & AUDITS
At 100 heat the DEA kicks in the door. FLUSH IT ALL to destroy most of your inventory and cut heat hard - you might still get caught. Hide the stash or talk your way out instead, if you're feeling lucky. Random paperwork audits can be paid off, shredded, or forged. Your call.
SUPPLIERS & THE PILL PRESS
Buy from Rexall Wholesale or The Import Connection - loyalty earns up to 15% off. In the INVENTORY tab, buy powder and run the pill press to manufacture pills at a fraction of wholesale. Low-quality batches are cheaper... and more lethal.
SECOND LOCATION & THE FRONT
Buy The Riverview Annex (THE EMPIRE tab) for a second pharmacy across town. It holds its own stock - move pills in the INVENTORY tab, and every fill pulls from both stores. The DEA only raids one location at a time. Open a front business (smoothie stand or car wash) to launder cash: sitting on more than $25,000 of dirty money draws heat each week, but cash you put 'in the wash' comes back clean next week for a 15% fee. The blenders never ask questions.
THE SHARKS & THE COMMUNITY
Loan sharks lend fast and collect faster - weekly interest, and three missed payments brings the repo men. Donate to the community to rebuild goodwill after... incidents. High goodwill means a fuller waiting room.
SAVING
SAVE stores your empire in your browser (localStorage). The game also auto-saves every week. The DEA doesn't honor save files. The button is right there in the top bar, next to the escape hatch.
HAPPYSTONER5420 GAMES
proudly presents
I GOT PILLS
a cautionary comedy in one act
Everything, literally everything: happystoner5420
Moral support: the pills themselves
Plot consultant: the DEA (uncredited, unpaid)
Special thanks: Dr. Feelgood, Dr. Quaalude, Dr. Payne
Craft services: gas station coffee
No pills were actually harmed in the making of this game.
Their customers, however, were fictional. Probably.